Chapter 1.

I remember the day he left. It was hard. It was tough. Mama was so sad. So hurt. So...upset. She had us really young and though we were her kids, we sometimes felt like siblings. We have gotten through it. Didn't help that my brother left too. At least he has gone for good reasons. He's in the service. Helping our country, even though I feel like we need help right here in NYC. It was a path that he chose. I can't knock him for it. I miss him sometimes. He has always been like a father to me. Since I never really had a father, I always looked up to him..never have I ever seen him make a bad decision, or pass judgement on any human. He is just genuine. Welp, since Mama has been working so much, My sister has been the only one around to take care of me. NOT that I like her. She is the EXACT opposite of my brother Kevin. Solange is the epitome of RUDE. I rolled my eyes at the thoughts that went through my head.

"Ms. Knowles, Do you know the answer?" My teacher stood in front of me like a tall tree.

I looked up at him. "Umm, I'm sorry Mr. Watson. Can you repeat the question?" I smiled and waited for his answer.

"Pay attention in my class Ms. Knowles." He raised his eyebrow and walked away slowly to find his next victim who seemed to not be paying attention.

History is probably one of the most boring classes for me. Hell, they never teach me anything I want to know. I want to know about things I care about. Things about my culture. But of course, they only teach us about the things that the "white man" wants us "poor little black kids" to know. Mr. Watson knows I hate this class. I don't even know why he came over here. As I look up at the clock, I see that there is only 2mins left before school is over! When that bell rings, I'm running out of here!

As the piercing sound of the bell ran through the school halls, I packed my bag with my books from my locker to get ready to go home. I was zipping my bag when the sound of my locker slamming scared the dear hell out of me.

"Hey Knowles!"

"Ty, you scared the hell out of me!" I laughed.

"You know that's what I live for." He smiled.

"What?" I opened my locker back up again.

"Scaring the hell out of people is what I live for" He giggled.

Ty has been my best friend since kindergarten. We have never had an argument. We have always been close. For as long as I can remember, he has been like a brother to me. He is a little bit more outspoken then I am. I can count on Ty to say whatever the hell he feels when he feels like it. 

"So what's the move for this afternoon? you going to the basketball game?" 

"Ty, NO. I am not going to that stupid basketball game. The last time I went to a game with you, YOU EMBARRASSED ME." I laughed.

"Oh Come on Knowles, That was LAST YEAR! Stanley Overton is fine now, he recovered from that accident last week." He fought his laugh from coming out of his mouth, but it escaped.

"It's not funny. You tripped him." I began to laugh with Ty. It was contagious. 

"A trip, a trap. Who's judging? I'm not." Ty said as he opened the door for me to exit the school.

"Nope, I'm not going. It's our senior year, and I'm trying to keep a low profile." 

"Low profile? Now you know Ty Hunter has NEVER been low profile!" He said as He laughed and strutted down the New York street.

"That's your problem!" I shook my head and laughed. "Maybe you need to try a low profile."

"OR NOT!" He ceased from strutting like a New York Model and went back to walking at my pace. 

"So how's your mom?" He said changing the subject.

I hate when he asks me this question..

"She's good. Always working." My  mood changed just that quick. 

"Solange still Solange?" He opened up a taffy and stuck it in his mouth. He threw the paper on the side walk.

"Yep. Solange is still Solange. I just can't wait til I'm older and I'm out of this house."

"I know what you mean Knowles, but it will get better. I'm sure of it." He said as he rubbed my shoulder. 

"I sure hope it does." I sighed as my house approached us on my right.

I'm never happy to be here. I'd much rather be at school all day, then have to go home and deal with reality. Reality meaning my sister...

"So you coming to my house for dinner tonight Knowles?" 

"I don't know, I'll see what time my Mom gets in. I'll give you a call." I smiled assuring him that I was okay.

"Okay! ANNNNND if you decide to change your mind about the basketball game, you can call me too."

"ORRRRR you can just get off my door step and find somebody else to go with." I smiled at my own joke.

"Come on Knowles!!"

"Bye Ty!! I'll call you." I giggled as I turned my back to him and opened the door to my home. 

As I closed the door behind me, I could here the loud music coming from Solange's room blasting through the speakers. She's so annoying. I don't get how she can be 5 years older then me and still feel like she is the annoying little sister. I sat my back down at the door and looked around. The house was a mess as usual, and I'm going to have to clean it. I can't have my mama coming home to a dirty house. I started picking up cans of soda that were left on the kitchen counter with a few crumbs that I could not ignore. 

"Why are you here?" Solange said standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

The sound of her gum popping against her teeth bothered me. I turned around and looked at her. "Today was a half day. You would know that if you looked at my calendar" I said with anger as I pointed to the school calendar on the fridge. 

"NO need to get smart. Listen, I'm going out. Don't touch anything, don't break anything. Got it?"

"Solange, I'm 17. I can handle myself. Do what you want." I said under my breath.

"What was that?" She said raising her eyebrow and grabbing a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket.

"Nothing. Just go ahead." I said bagging up the trash.

"That's what I thought." She smirked as she blew smoke from her lips that were covered in one of her many bright lipsticks. She is very fashionable. At least she thinks.

"You know Mama doesn't like you smoking in the house." I rolled my eyes and pulled out a bowl to pour cereal into.

"I also know that I'm grown." She said blowing more smoke from her mouth and nose this time.

I waved the smoke out of my face with my hand. "Solange! Stop!" I said as my tolerance level grew scarce. 

Her eyebrow raised again. "You gone do something?" 

I stood their in silence. 

"Mhmm." With her cigarette in her mouth, she made her way to the front door grabbing her leather jacket from the bottom of the steps and out the door.

I'm just glad she left. I grabbed my favorite cereal from the pantry. And set it on the table. Apple Jacks have been my favorite since I was a kid. Always loved it. I went on to pour myself a bowl. With a mouth full of cereal, I read over this mornings paper that was sitting on the kitchen table. When I was kid, Kevin used to read the comic strips to me. I remember laughing so hard that I would cry. He would make the voices for the characters and everything. I miss my brother. It gets lonely here without him. Solange has her days when she's nice, but for the most part. she's the natural bitch that the good Lord created her to be. 

As I finished up my bowl of cereal. The phone rang. I answered. "Hello, Knowles residence." 

"Hello, may I speak to Mrs. Kendra Knowles."

"May I ask who is calling?" I said politely. Mama always taught us to be polite over the phone to strange voices.

"This is Clara. I'm calling to see if she's available to pick up a shift tomorrow."

Tomorrow is Mama's first day off in 3 weeks. I refuse.

"I'll tell her you called. She isn't here."

"Could you tell her to give me a call back as soon as possible?"

"Of Course." I said with a sarcastic smile. 

After she thanked me, I hung up and made my way over to the sink to do the dishes. After that, it would be homework. Mr. Watson is almost convinced that his class has no life other than history. I mean, why the hell is America spending so much damn time on the past anyway. Even though I resented it. I got to my homework. I gotta work towards my goal. No matter how I feel against the subject. F's aren't gonna get me into college. When I looked up, It was 5 o'clock and the phone was ringing.

I answered. "Hello Knowles Residence"

"Hey Knowles! I called your cell phone 3 times! you coming to my house for dinner or what?"

"Sorry, I left it in my bag. The Basketball game over already?" I giggled.

"Nah, I'm not gonna go." He laughed.

I gasped in sarcasm. "Is this your way of keeping a low profile?" I smiled at my own joke.

Clearly he thought my sarcasm was funny, because he laughed. "Are you coming or not Knowles!?"

"You know I am, My mom must be getting off at 10pm because she would have been home by now."

"Well, bring your sarcastic ass on then." He laughed and hung up.

I finished up my last bit of homework and put my books away. I ran upstairs and put my book bag in my room and closed my door behind me. After grabbing my keys, I raced out of the house. 

"BEYONCE!"

I stopped in my tracks at the sound of my name being called. I knew who it was.

"What Solange?"

Solange set on the steps that I ran down with her stupid boyfriend Daniel sitting next to her..smoking yet another cigarette. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Solange, leave her alone." He said laughing.

He's obviously high. Weed was his drug of choice. He owns a studio around the corner from my school. It's in his broke down raggedy apartment on 54th street. He claims he gets all his money from "Studio work" but we all know he sales drugs. Mama hates him.

"To Ty's house for dinner." I said rolling my eyes.

"Come here." She said blowing more smoke.

As I walked back, I could smell the stench of cigarettes from her breath.

"Who is Ty?!"

She must be high too. She has met Ty plenty of times before. 

"Ty Hunter. You know him Solange, he has been here before."

"The little cross color wearin ass boy that lives down the street?" She said laughing hysterically at her own joke.

I found nothing funny, so I stood there with a straight face. 

"Are you done?" I asked smiling. Sarcasm is my second language.

"Yeah, I guess."

I began to walk away. 

"Hold up." She said quickly.

I turned around. "Yeah?" 

Solange dug in her pocket and grabbed some money. "Bring me back a pack of Newport's." She said handing me the money..

I took it and left without saying anything..

"And bring me my change!" She yelled as I walked quickly down the street. 

It was kinda cold outside. Leave it to NYC to be freezing cold in March. If I had it my way, we would still be living in Texas where I grew up. Mama felt like it would be a better life for her, Solange, and I here. She thought wrong. Ty's house isn't too far away from me, so I stopped at the store for Solange's cigarettes first. In any other hood, they would card you to buy tabbacco products. Not in this one. It was easy for anyone who didn't look their age to buy anything. That didn't reward me anything, being as though I don't smoke, I don't take advantage of that characteristic.

I walked in the stored and made my way to the register. Mr. Jones keeps his cigarettes behind the register so people won't steal them..

 

                                                                                        

"Hey Mr. Jones"

"Heyy Beyonce! How's your mom?

Mr. Jones has been a long time friend of my mom. He taught us almost everything we need to know when we got here from Texas. He has had this store on the corner near our house for years.

"She's good." I smiled. "How are you?" I said standing at the counter.

"I'm great. What can I get you?" Mr. Jones was always ready to help.

"I'm here to get cigarettes for Solange again.." I said with a disappointed face.

He smiled and reached behind him. "She's been treating you alright?" He said grabbing a box off the shelf. 

I smirked. "Now Mr. Jones, you know.." I laughed because he knew the answer.

"Still hanging with that no good "Studio owner" huh?" 

"Yep." I said laughing. "He's still around."

"How much did she give you?" 

"Twenty dollars." I said reaching for it out of my pocket. "AND she asked for her change back" I giggled.

Mr. Jones shook his head and laughed a little. "How about I just give you change back for a twenty and you keep what you owe me?"

"Mr. Jones you don't have to do-"

"Ah! Not another word." He said taking the twenty dollars out of my hand.

He quickly gave me change and smiled.

"Thanks Mr. Jones." I said smiling back.

"No problem baby girl. You have a good night." 

"You Too!" I grabbed the cigarette box off the counter and left.

As I walked to Ty's house, I played on my phone a bit. just to see if anyone called me. The only things I saw was the three missed calls from Ty. I got to Ty's house and knocked on the door.

His mom answered.

"Beyonce. So nice to see you!" She said smiling and letting me in.

After I got in the door, I hugged her. "How are you?" I smiled.

"I'm good. How's your mom?" It seemed like that was everyone's question these days.

"She's better. She's been working a lot. but she has a day off tomorrow" I said with pure joy. I'm happy my mother has a day off. She needs it.

"Well that's good. Ty's in living room! I'm gonna go finish dinner."

"Okay." I said walking into the living room where Ty was watching tv. 

"Still mad at me for not going?" I said with a smirk on my face.

"Shut up Beyonce." He said chuckling. "Was the wicked witch of NYC home when you got there? He chuckled again.

"Yeah, unfortunately." I said dryly as I plopped down on the couch next to him. "And her boyfriend was there too."

"He is SO-"

"FINE?" Ty said trying to finish my sentences.

"NO. ANNOYING."

"That's not what I was going for, but I'll let you have your opinion." He said jokingly. 

"You aren't attracted to nothing but his looks Ty! What about his personality?" 

Ty was silent as he thought about Daniel's personality.

"That's right! It sucks!" I laughed.

He laughed with me. "I don't care, that boy is still fine!

"You are something else!" I rolled my eyes and focused on the tv.

"Dinner is ready y'all!" 

Dinner was good as usual. I wanted seconds, but I didn't want to be greedy. I already feel guilty that I'm here every damn day getting a meal. I hate Solange's cooking. IT SUCKS. After dinner, Ty finally convinced me to go to the game. He stunningly behaved this time...We sat right behind the score board. Ty walked me straight home afterwards.

"Call me when you get home Ty."

"I will Knowles! No Worries!" He smiled.

I walked in the door to my home..It was fairly dark, so I turned the light on in the hallway from the downstairs switch. 

"Mama, Are you home?"

"I'm in the living room baby"

Mama looked tired, as usual. 

"Did you have a good day?" She asked as I sat on the couch next to her.

"It was okay!" I said smiling. I never tell her if I have a bad day. She's stressed out enough. "How about you Mama?"

"Ooo, it wasn't too bad. Just excited for this day off from both jobs tomorrow." she said kissing me on the forehead. "Where's your sister? do you know?"

"Nope. Haven't seen her since earlier"

Just then..Solange walked in and started going up the steps..

"Well hello to you too, Solange." My mother said sarcastically.

"Hey Mama." Solange made her way back down the steps. 

"Did you get my cigarettes Twerp?" She said with a smirk on her face and her hand out.

I reluctantly got the pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and gave them to her.

"Solange, what did I tell you about sending your sister to the store for those cancer sticks?"

"AND MY CHANGE?" Solange said ignoring her mother.

I pulled out her "change" from Mr. Jones and gave it to her.

"Solange!"

My mama hates to be ignored.

"Yeah?"

"Don't send her again!" 

Solange turned around and made her way out of the living room and back up the steps.

"YOU HEAR ME!?" my mother yelled as Solange stomped up the steps..

"Yeah, yeah, yeah I hear you." She slammed her door to her bedroom behind her.

"Mama, I don't know how you put up with her." 

"Baby, you will never understand."

Ever since I was little girl, I could always remember my mother and Solange's relationship being strained. She would always disrespect my mother, and my mother would almost never do anything about it. But when it came to my brother and I, we got it before a smart word could even make it out of our mouths. Like my mother said, I'll never understand.

"So it's Friday, you gonna get out of the house tomorrow?" Mama is always trying to make me go out and have fun.

"NOPE!" I'm staying here with you.

"With me? I'll be sleep" She said with her eyes slowly closing. She was dozing off.

"I'm sure of it." I said laughing at her head jerk back. "Mama why don't you go upstairs and sleep."

She woke up. "You're right." She kissed my forehead again. "Lock the door and turn all the lights out down here before you come up." She said making her way out of the living room..

"Gotcha Mom." 

"I know you do..you always do.." She said smiling.and going up the steps.

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Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeee Comment and Let me Know If I should keep going..